Friday, 13 August 2010

30 Dumb Proofs

Someone a long time ago made a snarky list of dumb theist arguments. (Here) I suppose it's about time we do it for Judaism. It's a joke of course (so nobody get offended that I'm misconstruing things) but I have to say that everything I'm about to list I have literally heard (in some shape or form) from real people. It's actually pretty depressing (but still funny.) Anyway feel free to add and have a Shabbat Shalom!

1. Parents don't lie to their children. Therefore Judaism must be true

2. Only Judaism of the three Abrahmic religions had a mass revelation myth. Therefore Judaism must be true

3. The Torah says some crazy things that no human would write. Therefore Judaism must be true

4. The Gemara got some science sort of right. Therefore Judaism must be true

5. The Bible is an amazing book. Therefore Judaism must be true

6. The Gemara is an amazing book. Therefore Judaism must be true

7. Maimonides was smart. He believed in Judaism. Therefore Judaism must be true

8. Jews use less drugs and drink less alcohol then non-Jews. Therefore Judaism must be true

9. Orthodox Jews have a low divorce rate. Therefore Judaism must be true.

10. People died for Judaism. Therefore Judaism must be true.

11. If I treat the Torah as a crossword puzzle I can make after-the-fact prophecies. Therefore Judaism must be true.

12. The Torah says bad things will happen to the Jews. Bad thing happened to the Jews. Therefore Judaism must be true

13. The Jews are still around despite having a rough time. Therefore Judaism must be true

14. Logic and rationality are a load of crap. Therefore Judaism must be true

15. God must have a plan for man. The Torah is a plan for man. Therefore Judaism must be true

16. The Torah says the universe had a beginning. The Big Bang Theory says the universe had a beggining. Therefore Judaism must be true

17. A lot of bad things happened to the Jews specifically. This must mean God hates them specially. Therefore Judaism must be true

18. Some archaeology supports certain things in the Bible. Therefore Judaism must be true.

19. The Documentary Hypothesis is wrong. Therefore Judaism must be true

20. Science changes. We say Judaism never changes. Therefore Judaism must be true.

21. Learning Gemara is fun. Therefore Judaism must be true

22. Jews have an obligation to believe Judaism is true. Therefore Judaism must be true

23. Jews are smart. Therefore Judaism must be true

24. The Gemara and its commentaries take up tens of thousands of pages. Therefore Judaism must be true

25. State of Israel. Therefore Judaism must be true.

26. War of Independence, Mivtza Sinai, Six Day War, Yom Kippur War. Therefore Judaism must be true

27. "I have faith." Therefore Judaism must be true

28. "You're just as biased as me!" Therefore Judaism must be true

29. "If it was obvious we'd have no free choice" Therefore Judaism must be true

30. "If it was obvious everyone would become Jewish" Therefore Judaism must be true

31. "So and so got better when we davened for him/her" Therefore Judaism must be true






Okay it was 31 proofs. Can anyone think of anymore, this was fun. ;)